Get the guy, Keep the gal

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I wanted to do a little thing on how to get the guy that you’ve had your eye on. I’m not an expert but I do have a wonderful husband who I impressed with my charm some five years ago to get him! I’ve said before that men are very simple, but I didn’t mean simple minded. They are just easy going. They still have thoughts and ideas and most of all, feelings! They just don’t want us to know it.

1. Cook/ Bake for the dude. I know it seems easy enough but do it. Men don’t want to come home from work and cook. They need someone to do it for them, and some won’t even eat if someone isn’t cooking for them. I cooked David dinner almost every night before we lived together. And when we moved in together I still continued and also baked sweets for him. They are used to their moms doing this for them so they are looking for a wife who can do it too. Don’t like to cook? Buy the shit and hide the takeout boxes. Who cares, it’s the thought that counts. Just don’t tell him until you’re married. 😉

2. On David and I’s second date, I paid. Of course no knew but us, but it was a nice gesture. I offered, he refused like a gentlemen. I then asked if I could give him the money to pay instead of anyone knowing. He then agreed. This isn’t the 1950’s. If men help with housework and etc then us women can help financially. If you show your man that early on, he will have more respect for you.

3. Clean, If you hate cleaning then I can’t help you here but I like to clean. It’s refreshing and is stress relieving for me. My husband is almost a neat freak. I’m not, I will get to it when I get to it. I hate dusting and cleaning cob webs so I leave that for him, but I like doing mostly everything else. We have balanced each other out over the years, he has become less of a clean freak and I have become less of a slob. 😉 But again, a lot of men are used to their moms doing their laundry and etc. so they are looking for these qualities in a wife.

4. Put out. Need I say more? As most men get older their sex drive decreases, and as most women get older it increases. Get it now while you still can ladies. Now, I’m talking about being in a committed relationship here, not first dating kind of thing. Sex is a very important thing in a marriage, it connects you and helps you have a stronger bond.

5. Respect him. I know that it’s easy to say, “oh yeah of course I respect him.” Do you listen to him when he talks even if it’s long and boring? Are you scrolling through Facebook or Twitter while he’s talking? You may not think he cares, but he does. Besides, they listen to us babble about our family and friends and work drama, we can focus in and listen about WWII or something about something in the Middle East. When I’m listening to my husband I have to put everything down and stare at his face and really focus, because I really don’t care about geography nor war, and not really politics either. But he does, so it’s my job to listen, understand and ask questions.

He claims to listen to me all of the time, the other day we were watching TV while the baby was in bed, and he had the monitor I the recliner with him. I mentioned how he was hardly even being loud ( boasting that he goes to bed on his own, awake and eventually goes to sleep) and out of no where David yelled, ” I’m not being loud, you are!!” I couldn’t help but laugh, but I wasn’t very happy. And I totally played the “see you don’t listen to me,” card!

So everything is a two way street guys and gals, but if you want to get the guy, do these things. Guys if you want to keep the girl, appreciate the things she does for you. Appreciate each other! Marriages and relationships are hard, and if they are easy breezy, someone isn’t really 100% happy. It’s give and take. Give a little, take a little and both parties have to participate or it will end badly.

You have to wake up everyday and decide to treat your spouse/ significant other with kindness and respect. And have fun and enjoy each other a long the way. You only live
once! (Cliche, I know, but seriously) Make it count!!

Xoxo
AV

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Mommy Time & Sacrifices

As I sit here cradling my almost asleep child, I’ve been thinking about how life is different being a mom, the struggles that we face, and the things we give up for our children.

I never thought that I would be a stay at home mom. In fact, I always said the I would never be a stay at home mom and that I didn’t know how women did it. The night my son was born my life changed forever. So did the outlook and views that I had in most things. That night I knew that I didn’t want to be away from him at all. He was a part of me and my husband, the most beautiful thing that I’d ever seen. That night I didn’t sleep at all in fear that he would stop breathing. There was nothing wrong with him, I just knew that I couldn’t lose him.

I couldn’t physically get out of bed and my husband wouldn’t wake up when I whispered to him, nor when I pretty much screamed his name. Then finally he did and I asked him to see if Dolan was breathing. Yes, Amanda he is breathing. He said to me. The only time he puts the A on Amanda is when he is irritated.

There is something that moms go through that dad’s do not. Or is it just that women worry so much about everything and men are so carefree. I’m not sure.

The nurses encouraged us to bring him to the nursery and we refused. We have to learn to take care if him sometime. We didn’t want to get home and have any suprises. And he was such a good baby. He hardly ever cried. Even when we got him home. He loved to sleep and eat and be warm and cuddly. He still does for the most part.

But I knew that I wanted to be with him all the time and be there for him and see his milestones and make sure he is raised the way we want him to be raised. So I chose to stay home. And I don’t regret it. Maybe if I find something part time with the right hours, but I don’t want to miss any special moments.

I give props to the working moms and props to the moms who look great everyday, because I can barely get ready everyday. And eating? You can forget it. Moms have two choices when they eat; A. Hoover it while you listen to the child scream, or B. Eat it cold. And if you are thinking, “what the hell is she talking about” “Just eat.” You obviously don’t have children.

During the day Dolan likes to be rocked to sleep, at night he goes to sleep on his own in his own bed. So if he wants mommy to cradle him while he goes to sleep during the day, I won’t deny him that. If you don’t have kids, imagine feeding every three hours, pumping every three like I do, diaper change, and entertain all day when your kid is 4 months. They cry, they get bored, and they want attention. Afterall, they are a person. And then try to get anything else done during the day, and if you have a squeaky clean house and are dressed and prim everyday, please share your secrets!!

And when your husband get home, you think, “oh great I get a break, maybe just five minutes to myself, maybe even shave my legs.” And you will probably get, “honey I’m tired, I’ve had a long day.” “I’ve worked all day.” Then the horns come out. Hahaha. So being a mom is a 24/7 job, no vacations, no time off, but I will assure you that it is worth it.

And my husband is a great father, no parent works harder than the other and they both struggle with balancing things. One just simply gets paid to do their job.

Keep up the great work mommies!

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How it all began

Often times people ask how my husband and I met, so I would like to tell the story of how it all happened. I got a job at his families’ restaurant before I started college. We probably didn’t speak at all for the first year that I worked there. He’s pretty quiet. One day In February of 09′ he called me. I must have had his number because it came up with his name. I was so excited. I screamed to my grandmother in the other room ” grandma, David Vickery is calling me!” She told me to answer it. I just couldn’t. I stared at my phone like I was mentally challenged. It came up that I had a voicemail. OMG I can’t listen to this. I was freaking out. I eventually did listen to it and he wanted to go see a movie.

I did eventually call him back and set it up, he came to pick me up. He picked the flick and we went to see “The last house on the left.” During the date he barely talked at all except to tell me that he has a gun and he would purchase my movie ticket. Lol! So during the movie he kept his coat on the whole time, kept his hands in his pocket and made no attempt to put his arm around me or make any move what so ever. What is this guy’s angle? I thought to myself. After arriving back at my place he stuck around outside my door and we just chatted for probably 2 hours. I could tell that he wanted to kiss me but couldn’t work up the nerve. But he eventually did, probably because I made no attempt to go into the house. 🙂

So we started texting a lot and “talking” but not specifically in a relationship. I asked him to go to Texas with me to watch my sister graduate AFBT and he said no, he couldn’t get the time off work. And then let me know that he didn’t want to be in a relationship. I was crushed! So being the crazy nut that I am, I took another dude. We didn’t talk for a while and I was seeing this other guy (jackass really) and then David started texting me again out of the blue. Jackass demanded that I tell him I have a boyfriend. And I refused. I just ignored him instead. Finally I got out of that craziness and a new girl started working with us.

She convinced me to ask David out (not knowing our history) and I said what the hell. We will see how it goes. So I cornered him at work and his cheeks got all rosy. And I asked him if he wanted to do something. He said yes, and I told him to call me or text me and we will sometime. I asked him if he still had my number and he replied, ” I never had your number!” To which we still joke about. He was at a lost for words and I had imbarrassed him. Yes! I’d never felt this way about anyone so it was pretty great.

Anyway, the rest is pretty much history! Now we have a beautiful baby boy and are getting ready to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. I got really lucky finding such a sweet, amazing man to call my husband!!

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Men, Women & Technology

I’ve been with my husband for just about five years now, so we are very comfortable with one another and it is easy to not give each other the attention that the other needs. I think as women we complicate men way more than we should. They are very simple creatures, feed them, listen to them, have sex with them, boom, they’re happy. Women and myself included tend to overthink what makes them happy and tend to over complicate things. But lately, I’ve found it easy to just agree and nod along to what my husband is saying even though I have no idea what he’s talking about. It’s not fair of me to ask this of him when I am not listening in return. I am “busy” on my phone or iPad. (No he isn’t speaking to me right now.) But then I remind myself that this is one of the very few things he needs from me, to listen and understand him. I need to continue to work on this. I don’t want my son ignoring people for technology. I’ve been trying to phase out a lot of the technology in my life so that I can pay more attention to the people who mean the most to me. As a society it has gotten way too easy to ignore the people we are with to look at our phones to see what the people we aren’t with are doing. I’m going to work on this, and you should too.

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Post Pregnancy

Lately I’ve been struggling with post pregnancy self esteem/body image issues. Diagnosed with preeclampsia at 37 weeks after gaining 60+lbs, I was ready to give birth to my son. I can’t shake the feeling of feeling hideous and huge. I try not to be negative and would do it all over again for my son but it’s so difficult to be positive when feeling like this! I’ve been working out and using muscles I haven’t used in months, can’t wait to feel better emotionally!

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