As I sit here cradling my almost asleep child, I’ve been thinking about how life is different being a mom, the struggles that we face, and the things we give up for our children.
I never thought that I would be a stay at home mom. In fact, I always said the I would never be a stay at home mom and that I didn’t know how women did it. The night my son was born my life changed forever. So did the outlook and views that I had in most things. That night I knew that I didn’t want to be away from him at all. He was a part of me and my husband, the most beautiful thing that I’d ever seen. That night I didn’t sleep at all in fear that he would stop breathing. There was nothing wrong with him, I just knew that I couldn’t lose him.
I couldn’t physically get out of bed and my husband wouldn’t wake up when I whispered to him, nor when I pretty much screamed his name. Then finally he did and I asked him to see if Dolan was breathing. Yes, Amanda he is breathing. He said to me. The only time he puts the A on Amanda is when he is irritated.
There is something that moms go through that dad’s do not. Or is it just that women worry so much about everything and men are so carefree. I’m not sure.
The nurses encouraged us to bring him to the nursery and we refused. We have to learn to take care if him sometime. We didn’t want to get home and have any suprises. And he was such a good baby. He hardly ever cried. Even when we got him home. He loved to sleep and eat and be warm and cuddly. He still does for the most part.
But I knew that I wanted to be with him all the time and be there for him and see his milestones and make sure he is raised the way we want him to be raised. So I chose to stay home. And I don’t regret it. Maybe if I find something part time with the right hours, but I don’t want to miss any special moments.
I give props to the working moms and props to the moms who look great everyday, because I can barely get ready everyday. And eating? You can forget it. Moms have two choices when they eat; A. Hoover it while you listen to the child scream, or B. Eat it cold. And if you are thinking, “what the hell is she talking about” “Just eat.” You obviously don’t have children.
During the day Dolan likes to be rocked to sleep, at night he goes to sleep on his own in his own bed. So if he wants mommy to cradle him while he goes to sleep during the day, I won’t deny him that. If you don’t have kids, imagine feeding every three hours, pumping every three like I do, diaper change, and entertain all day when your kid is 4 months. They cry, they get bored, and they want attention. Afterall, they are a person. And then try to get anything else done during the day, and if you have a squeaky clean house and are dressed and prim everyday, please share your secrets!!
And when your husband get home, you think, “oh great I get a break, maybe just five minutes to myself, maybe even shave my legs.” And you will probably get, “honey I’m tired, I’ve had a long day.” “I’ve worked all day.” Then the horns come out. Hahaha. So being a mom is a 24/7 job, no vacations, no time off, but I will assure you that it is worth it.
And my husband is a great father, no parent works harder than the other and they both struggle with balancing things. One just simply gets paid to do their job.
Keep up the great work mommies!