Arguing

Every couple fights differently, I grew up thinking the perfect relationship would be fight free. But, the truth is that’s it’s normal to fight sometimes. You are two different people, with different views and opinions, if you got a long all the time, it wouldn’t be normal and someone is giving to much and the other taking too much.

I’ve had couples tell me that they have a argue every six months and the rest is smooth sailing, I know couples that bicker all the time and it must work for them because they are still together.

It’s all about compromise and what you’re willing to give but it has to be 50/50. One person can’t be giving and the other is only taking, and it’s difficult to find that person that is willing to give/take with you forever! Not everyone is compatable, but you can make it work if you love eachother. David and I are both libras, which has odds against us. Libras are stubborn, indecisive and have trouble expressing their feelings. We are both libras and it does make it difficult sometimes but it always works out and we do really well.

Things to remember while arguing

1. Someone has to apologize at some point. Don’t let it spiral out of control. You want to get your point across but do it delicately and hope that your partner does the same.

2. If you’re married don’t ever say you want a divorce. Period. There’s nothing more to say than that. Obviously you say things when you’re angry that you don’t mean and will regret but don’t let this be one of them. You took a vow. Period.

3. If you aren’t married don’t say.”let’s end it” unless you mean it. It has almost the same effect and discredits the relationship.

4. Don’t yell but especially don’t scream. It accomplishes nothing. Try to get your point across calmly and if it doesn’t work, take a deep breath and take a break from the conversation for a while. It’s important for the other person to know how you feel, but not if you have to scream.

5. Walk away but don’t walk out. If you’re too angry to talk reasonably then go in another room, don’t run from the issue. David and I haven’t spent a night apart since we moved in together 5 years ago. We’ve always talked about whatever is at hand without it spiraling out of control.

6. Don’t name call. Just don’t do it. It will ring in the other person’s head afterwards even though you don’t mean it. Try big meany instead and you both can laugh it off. Also while we are at it, telling the other they are just like their parent isn’t the best thing either.

7. Don’t blame eachother. Express how you feel and hopefully both people will own up.

8. Say that you will work on it, and mean it. I ask David all the time what I can do to be a better wife. He always says nothing but it shows him that I care and that I always want to be the best wife that I can be.

9. Admit when you’re wrong! This is a huge one. Sometimes it’s hard to see when you’re wrong, you just have to try and see what’s right and hear your other person out and understand where they are coming from.

10. Forgive and Forget, once the issue at hand is resolved, get over it! Don’t think about it, don’t dwell on it, just leave forgotten in the past where it belongs. This is the most important one! No matter how you and your other half resolve issues, the most important thing is to let them go. If you don’t, you won’t make it very far in your relationship.

Xo
AV

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