Yesterday I had someone reach out to me for relationship advice after reading the last blog, her husband never wants to talk things out. It’s very difficult when both people don’t follow the same arguing rules or guidelines.
It’s easy for me to say do this and this and this for good results but if both you and your partner don’t agree it’s even more difficult to compromise when in a dis agreeance.
Someone once told me that they didn’t think a marriage was work. Well, I really disagree. It should be easy most of the time yes, but like I’ve said before, you are two different people with different needs, wants and expectations. It’s important to know what your partners’ expectations of you are and vica versa. And it’s very important to discuss needs and wants. There are things that I told my husband that I needed from him before we got married, and still remind him of all the time. It’s important to discuss needs and wants before you get married, that way there are no suprises. It’s important to discuss child rearing before you get married, it’s important to discuss religion before you get married. Discuss the important things and forget the small things. If your husband never takes out the trash but is so sweet and kind to you and does other chores, how important is it that he doesn’t take out the trash?
It’s about give and take and if two people can’t do that together, you are both in for a roller coaster ride.
Communication is the key to any good relationship and I’ve learned that over the years. I used to be the hard headed one not wanting to talk things out, I just wanted to ignore it and move on. That’s not the best way to go about things.
If you think that your relationship never requires work maybe you are the one taking too much from it? It’s hard to get people to see when they are. It’s important to have a 50/50 relationship (like I’ve said before) and if you have a difficult spouse try getting them to understand.
If they can’t or don’t understand and just want to fight and argue, I would suggest couples therapy.
It’s never too late to work things out to save your marriage or relationship.
Also, if you are in a new relationship, it’s probably normal to argue a lot at the 5/6 month mark. That’s when you really find out if you will make it or break it.