SAHMS

Some people think that stay at home moms don’t do anything and have plenty of time to do whatever they want. This can’t be further from the truth. I mean, I can’t even pee when I get up in the morning before my kid gets a bottle.

To the childless people that shower and shave in peace, I envy you. I can shower quickly while my child cries for my attention and tears up the house, but for shaving I have to schedule this with my husband. I refuse to listen to cries while I’m shaving, I need to focus! 😂

Most of you that know me know that my husband works third shift. So for me, this makes my job SO much harder. But, I can’t complain too much because I get to spend everyday with my little booger!! But Dolan wakes up at 6:45 most days and doesn’t go to sleep until 10pm most nights. David goes to sleep at 9 in the morning and wakes up around 7pm. So essentially I have him all day by myself and then all night, he’s been waking up several times in the night due to teething.

So literally my job never ends! I don’t get breaks. I don’t get to shower freely, I don’t get to use the restroom freely etc. And trying to get housework done is just a joke. I was vacuuming yesterday and he literally kept tugging on the cord from the outlet, followed me around, tangled himself in the cord, got in the way of the vacuum. So really, a 15 minute vaccuum job turned into 35 minutes!!! There’s no chance I could mop the floors without someone watching him.

Doing laundry is a joke as well. He unfolds everything as quickly as I fold it. Trying to load and unload the dishwasher with a little helper is hilarious! He wants to take the dishes out and play in the spot where the detergent goes. And one day I was wrinsing dishes, turned around and he was STANDING on the dishwasher lid hanging onto the top rack.

About the only way I can get anything done is to give him a snack and use the two minutes that that preoccupies him, to get something done. Which is nearly impossible.

Please don’t take my words as complaints, like I said I am so fortunate to enjoy every day with Dolan, I just really want people to understand that staying home doesn’t mean laying on your ass watching tv everyday. And I’m to blame too because, before I had a kid, I caught myself saying that so and so should have plenty of time because they stay home. And I feel terribly now, I completely understand now.

When I do watch tv, it is recorded and it would take me 2 hours to get through a 30 minute program. If you have kids, you know exactly what I’m talking about, if you don’t, you will soon see! There is a way to watch your program and here’s how you do it, give your child lots of snacks, turn the volume on 150, keep one finger on the rewind button and one finger on the pause button because you will have to pause and rewind every 60 seconds.
You will miss every good part and really it’s quite pointless, so I keep the tv on baby shows while we’re home.

I’ve been on my husbands ass to put on the child cabinet locks for 2 weeks. He finally put them on after he was home that weekend and I let Dolan tear everything out of the cabinets (like he always does) but this time I didn’t stop him. All weekend, I let him and let David pick the stuff up and put it back. So he got to see first hand what my everyday was like and he didn’t like it! So he put those damn things on and that made my life easier!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌

So in between all that, Fighting Dolan to take naps, usually takes 30 minutes to get him to sleep three times daily. And when I finally get him to sleep, I’m exhausted and I don’t feel like doing anything! But I still do because that’s what a good wife and momma does. I get done what I need to get done and as soon as I sit down for a break, the kid wakes up on cue. He could be just fine running about the house and the minute I sit down, he wants and or needs something.

So take this all into consideration when you ask a stay at home mom what she did all day, or mention that she should have plenty of time to get something done. Because if you don’t understand, you will some day.

Hot Car Deaths

I am ranting and raving as I type right now because I am SO tired of hearing about children being left in a hot car and end up dying. As a parent this makes me feel sick to my stomach!

How could you forget your child? I mean do you forget to smoke a ciggarette? Do you forget to eat? Do you forget to sleep when you’re tired? NO. YOU. DONT!! So how can these stupid fucks forget their child?

I just don’t get it. My heart breaks for these children. I get emotional when Dolan cries loudly for no reason. I don’t like to see him upset. I can’t imagine something bad happening to him.

I read an article recently before all of these car deaths hit the news in the past couple months. The article was in Parents’ Magazine. It was about a woman who actually did leave her daughter in the car and she died. It was a very sad article. And for a moment I thought, okay it actually happens I guess. But I really think you should always be alert and on point when your kids are in the car.

She mentioned that when you do the same things everyday, your body does them on autopilot. It is when there is a change in routine is when accidents happen. Like if your husband usually takes the kids to the sitter or if the sitter usually picks them up.

There were a few things that she shared to help remember your child (if your brain is fried). Put your purse or phone in the backseat so you have to get it. Put your child’s toy in the front seat. Have the sitter call you if you haven’t let them know you were canceling for the day. Have the sitter call you if you’re more than 10 minutes late.

A few I thought of; put children’s music on the radio, crack the child’s window so you have to look back there to see if it’s closed. Have a system where you text your husband every single day or he texts you when the kids are safely dropped off. And if not, obviously call them!

Everyone has to take a test to be able to drive a car but anyone can have a child. Children can’t look out for themselves, we as their parents are supposed to that! So stop being so selfish and think about them and their safety!

Annoyed

No

Nothing is more frustrating as a child to hear the word “no” all the time. For a lot of parents it’s hard to tell their child “no”. However, saying “no” to your child can be one of the most important things that they can learn from you. Saying “no” to your child teaches them limits. It helps them become well rounded when they get older, and know that they can’t always get what they want in life. It also teaches them that it’s okay to tell people “no” when they get older, when they don’t want to do something with friends, and it helps them stand their ground with what they believe in.

Sometimes as parents we can feel like a broken record saying “no” all the time.

Ask yourself these questions before telling your child “no”

Is it hurting them?
Is it hurting you?
Is it hurting what they’re doing?
Is what they’re doing wrong?

If these answers are “no” then maybe we don’t need to tell them “no” with certain things. A lot of parents want to say “no” all of the time simply because it shows they’re in charge.

Children find happiness in the smallest things and if you’re telling them “no” just because what they’re doing annoys you, maybe you should find a different way to cope with the situation.

Dolan recently has been crying if you don’t let him do or have what he wants. He wants the TV remote, it is hurting the remote by him drooling and biting on the buttons. So we never let him have it unless he just wants to hold it. Which is NEVER the case!

But, at this point, saying “no” isn’t yet a detrimental thing. But we have been trying to incorporate it some. But we really don’t see a need to be one of those parents who say no for no reason just because we feel like it.

It’s tough being a parent. It’s like trying to be a good person. You wake up everyday and try do make good choices, do the right things, and set good example for our kids!

Xoxo AV

Baby’s First Melt Down

The other day Dolan had his first real meltdown. It was crazy!

He just got his upright big boy car seat the hasn’t mastered how to feed himself a bottle while sitting in it yet. We were on our way to the store and he started crying because he was ready to eat. I let him cry a bit, seeing if he could hold off until we got to the store.

That wasn’t going to happen! I had to pull over into an empty lot and at this point he was pissed. I fed him his bottle and we were on our way to the store. I was in a bit of a hurry, had somewhere to be after. If you have children you know that hurrying + fussy children = a delay that you wouldn’t have had I the first place had you not been in a hurry.

So we got out of the store and when the wind blew I could smell a shitty diaper. LOL So, instead of going back into the store I decided to change him in the back of our SUV. BAD IDEA! He kept trying to roll over and succeeded every time. It was a serious struggle, this little boy is strong. Did I mention that I only had three wipes and Dolan was screaming the whole time? I mean SCREAMING!! He was screaming like someone was hurting him each time I would turn him back over. Shit was getting everywhere, shit on my hands, shit on my my arms, shit on the changing mat, and shit on his legs. I was trying to wipe him while he was turned onto his tummy and that’s when I had used up the last little section on my last wipe. He was already in a bad mood, now this was the icing to the cake. I decided that this was good enough, I could change him again when I got home. He continued to scream as I put him in the car seat.

My husband wanted me to stop and get food at a drive through real quick before coming home to wake him. On the way there, Dolan had calmed a bit but not much. I was singing the usual calm down song which is ” If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.” He cried all the way to the fast food place, and I thought about just going home, but when we got there he stopped crying and so I decided to go ahead.

As soon as another car got behind me, he started screaming again. I was locked in for a bumpy ride! He was screaming at the top of his lungs and it was my turn to order. I apologized before ordering and the woman laughed and I apologized after again. She must have children because it didn’t seem to phase her. The next window I had to pay, yes he is still screaming. I paid cash and told him to keep the change, the guy actually looked annoyed or insulted that I asked him to keep it. I just wanted to roll the window up so they couldn’t hear. I actually thought about driving away without even getting the food so I wouldn’t have to roll my window down again! But I did, last window. WHEW! The lady gave me my items as quickly as she could and I pulled away.

Since he was still screaming, now louder than ever, I thought he was going to make himself sick! I pulled into a parking spot and gave him his pacifier, rubbed his head and told him he was okay. He stopped crying! Yes! A mother’s touch! And then I got in, buckled up and it started again! At this point I felt like crying too. There’s nothing worse than not being able to make your child happy. We got a mile down the road, none of my songs were working. There was a church, THANK GOD! I pulled in, jumped in the backseat and cradled him in my arms. He fell asleep in literally 2 seconds! He didn’t even wake up when I put him back in the car seat, nor when we got home and I transferred him into his crib, and he still didn’t wake up when we later put him back in his car seat, to leave.

What a day!! Needless to say, afterwards I was exhausted and refused to go anywhere without my husband for the remainder of the weekend. Note to self: Don’t take short cuts when in a hurry, it will make you late!!

Xoxo AV

Planning the First Birthday

First Birthdays are kind of a big deal. I mean how many times does your kid turn 1?

I have been planning slash thinking about Dolan’s first birthday since he was probably two months old. You could say that I’m a planning freak, yes. And then there’s Pinterest, it feeds my obsession to plan everything early and drives my husband crazy to listen to my ideas so soon.

I’m going to attempt to give advice or a guideline for planning the big day even though I haven’t done it yet, but I have planned many parties and would secretly love to be an event planner.

The very first thing you should decide is the theme. Not only should you figure this out first, you should stick to it. Once you find the one you like, don’t look at any other themes. But remember, they will only turn 1 once! Also, if you’re on a budget keep it in mind that the more specific you are, ie Mickey Mouse, the decor will be more expensive because it’s Disney.

The next thing you should do is pick the venue. With this, you should keep the season in mind, if you’re on a budget, a park is a fun and free place to have a kids party, weather permitting. If you have it at your home it will be more work for you getting the house ready but obviously more comfortable for your LO. Along with picking the venue, you need to make a guest list to see how many people will your venue need to accommodate. (I’ve already done this even though DV turns 1 in the fall) (FREAK)

For me, I’m not inviting my college buds, nor previous co workers. I just want it to be close family & friends. And Dolan’s “friends” of course . (Haha) But as a parent I want to remember that I get to pick party themes right now until Dolan is old enough, so I will pick the cutesy ones that I want that I won’t be able to have when he goes all “big boy” on me.

Invitations are the next thing you should pick out, they should go with your theme or at least with the colors of the theme. You should mail these out no sooner than 4 weeks before the party and no later two weeks before the party. You never know what people have going on in their lives, and if you want them to come you should give them enough notice. Obviously family members know about when the party will be.

Along with the invitations you should decide a day and time to have the party. Weekends are ideal if you want everyone to be able to come, if that’s not possible pick an evening during the week that might work. Dolan’s grandparents own a business so I would want his party to be on a day they will be closed. The time will depend on whether or not you want to serve a meal. If you have it at noon or six, people may expect to be fed. If you have it from 2-5 or so, you could definitely just serve finger foods or snacks. But HEY who says you have to have any food anyway?

I don’t think it’s ever too early to plan anything, just write things down or pin them on Pinterest so you don’t forget!!

Interesting Read about Goody Bags
http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/166917/i_refuse_to_give_out?next=11

Also, a friend brought up to me that she wasn’t sure what time to have the party so it wouldn’t be in the middle of nap time. This may help:
https://www.babysleepsite.com/tag/one-year-old-naps/

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Heavy Heart

Tonight my heart is so heavy.. I can’t sleep. My sister who is 35 weeks pregnant got some life changing news today.

She had a regular ultrasound scheduled for last week and her happy day turned into a worried one. They said that the baby’s brain was darker than what they’d like to see. They thought it might be a cyst, or worse a tumor.

After speaking with the specialist, she decided that she didn’t think it was a cyst. They referred her to a children’s hospital to see a neurologist. She had to wait a long agonizing weekend until her appointment today.

When she told me all of this I felt so terrible. I felt as though I shouldn’t be happy because she’s not happy. I couldn’t help but cry. Why is this happening to my sister? I know that God has a plan for everyone but why this plan for her?

I have been praying all day for good news. I know that my sister is the strongest person that I know and maybe that’s why God gave her this beautiful baby to love and parent.

My sister found out today that her baby has Dandy Walker Syndrome. I try to put myself in her shoes and finding something like this out, and I go weak in the knees. She naturally, didn’t want to talk to anyone. I was at a loss for words. I told her everything will be okay and that I loved her.

I had no idea what this syndrome was until I googled it. I’ve read some terrifying stories and I’ve read some amazingly uplifting stories. I am praying so hard for a miracle and I would like to ask everyone to do the same. Even if you haven’t prayed in years, please do this for my sister. Let’s pray for a happy healthy baby and that’s all that matters!

I know that God chose her because she is so strong, and she can handle anything. God knew that if he gave her this baby, she would love and adore him unconditionally no matter what. Let’s pray for baby Joe and my sister Corri. Their lives are in God’s hands, he will guide her and show her the way.

I will post more as soon as I know anything.

Baby Food

Do you know what your child is eating?

If you follow me on other social media sites you know that my latest craze is pureeing my own baby food.

Today we tried real bananas after Dolan has been eating Gerber’s puréed version while we puréed only veggies. I got 5 bananas for 1.44 and one banana makes about 3 servings. That makes each serving only about .10 cents!! Obviously the healthier option as well. I was looking at the back of Gerber’s puréed mix and there’s so many additives including lots of added sodium (sugar). I feel so much better about him eating fresh fruits and veggies!

The other day I got peas for .78 cents and it made 5 servings! That makes the servings .15 cents a piece compared to 1.00 or 1.40.

I wanted to share and spread for those who don’t know how much better it is for your little cutie to go the fresh route. It’s so easy too! I use a Magic Bullet that we recieved as a wedding gift years ago. Your biggest investment would be to buy some sort of mixer or blender. It is well worth it.

The other thing I hate about processed baby food is that it doesn’t even taste like the real thing. Have you tasted what your baby is eating? I have! And it’s all super sweet from all the added sugar.

It’s very easy to purée your own baby food, Dolan’s doctor has given us the o.k to use water instead of breastmilk for the pureeing. Most recipes call for added breastmilk no matter what you purée, but we just use water.

If you don’t purée your own, I am in no way calling you a bad mom. You have to do what’s best for you and your child and you’re the only one that can make that call. But, Gerber’s organic purée mix is a lot better than the standard. I think I saw that it’s only 5mg of sodium compared to like 140mg in the regular mix.

My next step is going organic with the fresh veggies and fruits. Our local store doesn’t carry a lot of that so I will need to go stock up elsewhere. But so far so good with pureeing! Dolan is happy with it (he would eat anything though) but most of all, I am very happy knowing what my child is eating. I always want the best for him.

P.s. There are tons of recipes on Pinterest!

Xoxo
AV

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